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Freemium Isn't Free - Full Episode - Season 18 - Ep 06 | South Park Studios Nordics

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Freemium Isn't Free - Full Episode - Season 18 - Ep 06 South Park Studios Nordics Freemium Isn't Free - Full Episode - Season 18 - Ep 06 South Park Studios Nordics please login or register Our queue is available only to registered users.
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KYLE, HANG ON A SEC.
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU'VE HEARD THE F-F-FANTASTIC NEWS.
THERE'S A NEW TERRANCE AND PHILLIP MOBILE GAME, AND IT'S SO AMAZING AND INCREDIBLY FUN.
AND THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE PART.
YOU SHOULD DOWNLOAD IT TO YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW.
I MEAN, COME ON.
IF IT'S FREE, WHY WOULDN'T YOU?
WELL, I'LL CHECK IT OUT.
IN THIS GAME, YOU ARE TERRANCE AND PHILLIP.
CAN YOU COLLECT ALL THE CANADIAN COINS?
CAN YOU COLLECT MORE?
HEY, YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT THIS, GUY.
RUN AROUND AND COLLECT MORE COINS, OR BETTER YET, BUY THEM IN BULK.
HOW MAN CANADIAN COINS WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY?
NOW USE THAT CANADOUGH TO HELP REBUILD CANADA.
CLICK TO BUILD A HOSPITAL HERE.
I ENDED PAYING LIKE FIVE BUCKS.
HOW ARE CANADA'S TWO FAVORITE BUDDIES?
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
AND THIS HAPPENS TO BE THE MINISTER OF MOBILE GAMING.
ALL YOU DO IS COLLECT AND SPEND CANADOUGH.
YOU'VE SEEN THROUGH THE CHARADE, SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL KNOW EVERYTHING.
FOR YEARS, THE CONCEPT BEHIND GAMING WAS SIMPLE -- YOU PAY FOR THE GAME, AND YOU ENJOY.
WITH MOBILE APPS, WE NOW HAVE THE ABILITY TO MAKE GAMES THAT ARE BORING AND STUPID, BUT IF YOU PAY FOR INCENTIVES, YOU'RE REWARDED.
EXPLORE, COLLECT, SPEND, IMPROVE.
BUT WHERE ARE THOSE JUST USE THE CONCEPT OF X.
MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.
FREEMIUM GAMES ARE WHAT'S NOW, AND IT'S ALL JUST A LOT OF HARMLESS FUN.
I DIDN'T REALIZE I SPENT THAT MUCH.
WHAT ARE "CANADIAN COINS"?
I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
HE KNEW HOW MUCH HE WAS SPENDING.
HE KNEW HE'D GET IN TROUBLE.
BUT Addicted to gambling need help DIDN'T MATTER.
I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT THIS IS A LOT LIKE HIS GRANDPA.
DAD'S ALWAYS HAS A GAMBLING PROBLEM.
HE'S GOT TOTAL ADDICTION TENDENCIES.
COULD HE HAVE SOMEHOW PASSED THOSE Sherlock game free DOWN TO STAN?
NOW I ONLY DRINK GLUTEN-FREE BEER AND WINE.
BUT WITH STAN, I THINK THERE'S SOME DARKNESS INSIDE HIM THAT DOESN'T ALLOW HIM TO STOP.
AND MAKE THE GAME ABOUT WAITING, BUT LET THE PLAYER PAY NOT TO WAIT.
IT'S A SURE-FIRE WAY TO MAKE LOTS OF MONEY.
IT HAS TO BE JUST BARELY FUN.
IF THE GAME WAS TOO FUN, THEN THERE WOULD BE NO REASON TO MICRO-PAY IN ORDER TO MAKE IT MORE FUN.
I WAS SICK IN BED.
WHAT ELSE WAS I GONNA DO?
I UNLOCKED A STADIUM IN TORONTO.
LIKE JIMMY SAID, IT'S A COOL WAY TO ZONE OUT.
JIMMY TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS GAME?
YEAH, COME ON OVER.
YOU LOOKING TO HAVE SOME FUN?
ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE USING IT.
JUST TRY IT OUT.
YOU CAN BE TERRANCE, OR PHILLIP, OR BOTH.
YOU CAN WALK AROUND AND COLLECT CANADA CASH TO BUILD NEW STUFF.
IT'S THE PERFECT THING IF YOU'RE BORED.
AND HONESTLY, THE BEST PART Addicted to gambling need help IT IS IT'S FREE.
I MEAN, COME ON.
WHY WOULDN'T YOU DOWNLOAD IT AND JUST TRY IT OUT?
ANYWAY, BE SURE TO CHECK IT OUT, KID.
WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
WHAT HAPPENS ON LEVEL TWO AFTER YOU GET THE ONTARIO NUGGET?
I NEVER PLAYED IT.
I STAY AWAY FROM THE STUFF.
NEW HOSPITALS, NEW NEIGHBORHOODS, ALL FUNDED BY ONE FREEMIUM GAME.
UH, WE'VE BEEN TALKING IT OVER, AND WE REALLY AREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH THIS FREEMIUM THING.
SOON, CANADA WILL BE AS ADVANCED AND DEVELOPED AS MICHIGAN.
WELL, WE CERTAINLY WOULDN'T WANT THAT.
HOW ABOUT WE TAKE SOME OF THE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WE ARE MAKING AND WE START A CAMPAIGN TO TEACH EVERYONE TO PLAY THE GAME IN MODERATION?
THE ALCOHOL INDUSTRY DOES IT ALL THE TIME.
YOU IN A TUXEDO.
I WANT YOU TO SEE THIS.
HE SITS AT THAT SLOT MACHINE AND MINDLESSLY DRAINS MONEY AWAY A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME.
ALL THE LITTLE SOUNDS AND LIGHTS ARE CALCULATED TO KEEP HIM SITTING AT THAT STUPID MACHINE.
YOU'VE INFECTED HIM WITH YOUR BULLSHIT!
WHAT IS THE JOY THAT THIS STUFF POSSIBLY BRINGS YOU?
YOU TWO HAVE DEMONS YOU'RE TRYING TO COMPENSATE FOR.
YOU'RE HAVING A GLASS OF Addicted to gambling need help />IT'S CALLED A TASTING, AND IT'S CLASSY.
I JUST LIKE PLAYING IT, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO.
AND IF YOU TWO STOP, THEN WE WON'T HAVE A PROBLEM ANYMORE.
EARTHY, BOLD, HINT OF CHERRY AFTER-TONES.
I WAS JUST THE MIDDLEMAN.
PEOPLE WERE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT THE GAME SOMEWHERE IF NOT FROM ME.
I'M NOT THE ONE WHO MADE IT.
WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?
YOU GIVE IT AWAY FOR FREE.
YOU GIVE AWAY A LITTLE TASTE, AND THEN -- AND THEN SOME PEOPLE CAN'T STOP THEMSELVES.
HOW COULD YOU SELL OUT YOUR FRIENDS?!
I DOWNLOADED YUM YUM SPARKLY GEM Addicted to gambling need help BECAUSE IT WAS FREE.
I LOVED THE SPARKLING LITTLE GEMS, THE SOUNDS THEY MADE WHEN I GOT NEW ONES.
THEN I MADE MY FIRST IN-APP PURCHASE.
BEFORE I KNEW IT, I HAD SPENT MY ALLOWANCE, THEN MY BIRTHDAY MONEY.
I LOST MY CRUTCHES!
WE'D SAY WE LOST AND ARM AND A LEG, BUT THEY AIN'T WORTH MUCH.
THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY'RE DOING.
YOU'VE GOT NEW BUDDIES, GUY.
YOU SAID YOU STOPPED BUYING CANADOUGH.
I-I CLICKED ON A FEW MICROPAYS AND IT JUST KIND OF ADDED UP.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SONGS I HAVE TO WRITE TO MAKE BACK THAT MUCH MONEY?
I'M SAMPLING A FLIGHT OF GLUTEN-FREE GERMAN LAGERS WITH A FRENCH WINE PAIRING.
IT'S CALLED A SCHMORGESWEIN AND IT'S ELEGANTLY CULTURAL.
THERE IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT ME, YOU GUYS.
I KNOW THE GAME IS STUPID, AND IT ACTUALLY ISN'T EVEN FUN ANYMORE.
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER TOLD YOU THE GAME WAS F-F-F-FA-FANTASTIC.
IT'S SOMETHING TO DO WITH Click FAMILY.
IT'S LIKE A CURSE.
TRUST ME, I KNOW.
I'M AN ADDICT, TOO.
BUT I GOT HELP.
YOU'VE GOT TO GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND YOU'VE GOT TO SAY, "I HAVE A PROBLEM.
PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW PUSHERS ARE BEING HIRED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLE WITH ADDICTION PROBLEMS.
THERE HAS TO BE A WAY WE CAN GET TO THE NEWS COMPANY AND SNEAK IN AND SOMEHOW BORROW THEIR TV SIGNAL.
YOU PAID PUSHERS TO GET ADDICTS HOOKED ON OUR FREEMIUM GAME?
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH PROMOTING A MOBILE GAME.
YOU'VE SEEN THROUGH THE CHARADE AGAIN.
LET ME EXPLAIN HOW FREEMIUM GAMES REALLY WORK.
IT'S ALL ABOOT FINDING THE HEAVIEST USERS AND EXTRACTING THE MOST AMOUNT OF CASH FROM THEM.
THAT'S HOW YOU GET ADDICTS TO PAY 200 BUCKS FOR A GAME THAT'S NOT EVEN WORTH 40 CENTS.
THINK ABOUT ALL THE MONEY.
HERE, HAVE A BUMP OF COKE.
IT'S SOMETHING KIND OF DARK.
PLEASE, HELP SHOW ME THE WAY.
I HAVE ADDICTION DEMONS AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM.
SO, YOU'VE GOT DOPAMINE, RIGHT?
THAT'S THE CHEMICAL THAT GETS RELEASED IN YOUR BRAIN WHENEVER YOU DO SOMETHING PLEASURABLE LIKE EATING, SEX.
AND THAT'S JUST NATURE, RIGHT, LIKE, RABBITS AND FISH AND SHIT, THEY NEED DOPAMINE SO THAT THEY WANT TO CONSUME TO REPRODUCE.
IT'S LIKE -- OKAY, IT'S LIKE BEING DIABETIC.
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE YOU CAN EAT WRONG AND EAT WRONG, AND CHEMICALS GET RELEASED FROM YOUR LIVER IN A WEIRD Addicted to gambling need help />YOU KNOW, YOU'VE BEEN EATING GLUTEN AND SHIT.
AND THEN EVENTUALLY YOU'VE GOT A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE FROM YOUR LIVER.
AND SOMETHING CLICKED AND NOW YOU'RE Addicted to gambling need help FOREVER, RIGHT?
I CAN GET ADDICTED TO EVERYTHING SO I CAN'T ENJOY ANYTHING?
I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT?
SO, LET'S TALK ABOUT GENETICS NOW.
YOU STILL HAVE TIME?
GIVE ME JUST A SEC.
USING SLOT MACHINE TACTICS, FREEMIUMS GAMES ARE ABLE TO MAKE MILLIONS OFF OF AN EVEN SMALLER PERCENTAGE OF MOBILE GAMERS.
THEY DON'T CARE THAT 10% ARE GONNA GET ADDICTED.
THEY'RE COUNTING ON IT!
IT'S THE SAME WITH US.
BUT WE'VE GOT OUR EYES ON EVERY ADDICT'S SCREEN.
EVERY BUTTON THEY CLICK, WE GET FEEDBACK ON HOW TO SHOVE THIS SHIT RIGHT DOWN THEIR THROATS.
IT'S THE CANADIAN DEVIL!
OKAY, SO, YOU KIND OF UNDERSTAND NOW, CHAMP?
BUT WHY DO COMPANIES HAVE TO PUT SO MANY ADDICTIVE THINGS OUT THERE?
I'VE GOT TO PUT TEMPTATION OUT THERE, TOO, SO PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL AND ALL THAT SHIT.
BUT, YOU KNOW, EVERYONE HAS THEIR JUSTIFICATION AND THINKS WHAT THEY'RE DOING IS OKAY.
DON'T YOU WANT MORE CANADOUGH?
IT'S A FREEMIUM GAME SENDING ME PUSH NOTIFICATIONS.
BUT THIS IS JUST BLATANT SKINNER BOX MANIPULATION.
WAIT A MINUTE, WHO PUT THIS OUT?
HE'S ALWAYS DOING THIS SHIT.
I TELL HIM TEMPTATION HAS TO BE NUANCED, BUT HE GOES AND DOES THIS CRAP AGAIN.
I'M GONNA NEED TO BORROW YOUR SOUL REAL QUICK, KID.
IS THAT ALL RIGHT?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP ME.
I DON'T DO THAT.
WHEN THE PRINCE SIGNED THE AGREEMENT TO MAKE A FREEMIUM GAME, HE APPARENTLY MADE A DEAL WITH THE CANADIAN DEVIL.
I'M THE CANADIAN DEVIL!
THIS IS A SAD DAY FOR CANADA AND, THEREFORE, THE WORLD.
ONCE AGAIN, YOU LACK ANY SENSE OF NUANCE.
YOU'RE NO MATCH FOR CANADIAN SATAN!
THIS IS CERTAINLY A CONUNDRUM FOR CANADIANS EVERYWHERE AS WE TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHO TO ROOT FOR.
FOR THAT, LET'S ASK THE MINISTER OF SPORTS IN EDMONTON.
BUT THEN AGAIN, HE IS THE ONE WHO HAS PROMISED US PAIN AND SERVITUDE FOR A MILLION YEARS.
THY END HAS COME!
YEAH, I THINK I'M GONNA BE OKAY.
WE HAVE ALL LEARNED A TRAGIC LESSON TOGETHER THAT, THOUGH MANY SINS ARE OUT THERE, WHEN YOU GET INVOLVED WITH FREEMIUM GAMING, YOU ARE MAKING A DEAL WITH THE CANADIAN DEVIL.
WE WILL NO LONGER MAKE FREEMIUM GAMES, AND WE WILL NO LONGER MAKE IMPROVEMENTS TO OUR COUNTRY WITH MONEY TAKEN FROM ADDICTS.
CANADA IS BACK TO BEING AN ETHICAL, RESPECTED, SHITTY TUNDRA.
GOOD FOR YOU GUYS.
TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL JOIN YOU.
BOARD GAMES GO GOOD WITH A GLASS OF WINE.
IF YOU ROLL A FIVE OR SIX, YOU CAN KILL THESE ZOMBIES.
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South Park ©2018 Comedy Partners.
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